A Change

Hello, all two of my readers! I am postponing the Emeril review until further notice. I will be pouring all my energy into the EZ Money review.

Emeril Review Part One: The Unaired Pilot: The Preview

Emeril Part One: Pilot (Unaired)

How not to do a sitcom.

In 2001, the celebrity chef Emeril was starting to rise to fame due to his show on the Food Network. NBC felt the need to take advantage of the rising star. They decided that a sitcom was the best way to do so. Originally slated to air on  September 11th, 2001, Emeril was pushed to the side to provide the public with coverage of the attacks on the World Trade Center. When the reworked pilot finally aired, it was absolutely panned by critics. It had 11 episodes recorded. Seven episodes aired. Nine episodes have been recovered. We will be looking at the unaired pilot tonight. (Sorry if my info is a little sketchy, very little official information exists on this show.)

Emeril Related News

Well, I've started to finish up the series, and there are certain episodes that are just,you know, average. I'll post a list of the episodes I plan on reviewing later. I'll review the episode if it's really bad, or surprisingly good. See you later with another update.

PS: I feel like I talk about this show so much. I should just rename this the "Emeril Blog"

PPS: Not really, that'd be stupid.

Urgggggggggghhhhhhhhh

EZ Money sucks. Plain and simple. They did not care. The editing is atrocious. The actors are all monotone and bland. There is no attention to detail. It's made for kids, yet has really weird moments that are inappropriate for kids. I have never cringed harder watching a movie. I've watched Jack and Jill. At least it had Al Pacino. I've watched Howard the Duck. At least it was so bad it was entertaining. EZ Money is that special kind of bad. It's incredibly painful to watch. There was no effort put in. It was made for a quick buck and that's it. You'll cringe at most parts, and be bored at others. Here's an example of how little they cared.

When saw this I couldn't believe my eyes. How could someone care so little? They're so close together. You must have seen this while editing. They even have a gag line under "Gargle" earlier in the film, yet they still didn't fix this. It's funny how something so little showed the absolute laziness of this film, and made seethe with rage. This is a film nobody should have to sit through, and I did. And I'll have to do it again for the review. Urgggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I've made a horrible mistake

                                     HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

What's wrong with EZ Money? EVERYTHING. THIS ABOMINATION OF THE VISUAL ARTS MUST BE EXTERMINATED SOON, OR I WILL HAVE FAILED AS A CRITIC. FORGET EMERIL. THIS IS MY TOP PRIORITY RIGHT NOW. THIS FILM WILL BE BROUGHT TO JUSTICE. (The Emeril review will come soon, but it is not my top priority.)

Announcement

I'm going to write a Value Bin Massacre before the new Variety Critic (Don't worry, It's being worked on!). I just wanted to do something a little different. What's my target,you ask?

Also, the dog on the cover looks demonic.

Weird Amazon Reviews: Part 1

This is the new feature where I bring you weird reviews for products on Amazon. Names have been blocked to protect those who wrote the reviews.
First, reviews for.....

Nothing wrong here. I just thought the misspelling of waste as "waits" was amusing.

................................................... What?

Next reviews are for......

You're problem may be that this is a movie.
That's it for now guys.